I’m on a Boat and….

Lake season in Texas is officially over. Sure, there is more than enough water, but I’m way too cold and full of pumpkin-spiced lattes to trapse around in a bikini. And quiet down now if you are already thinking to yourself that I should never trapse around in a bikini. This is not the place for body-shaming!

To keep my spirits up on chilly days, I like to blare songs from our ever evolving summer boat playlist. They are fun and sunny, but many tend to be so inappropriate. Why is that? Nevertheless, it reminds me of when I first learned the gravity of playing a foul language song to the wrong group.

When I began working for SeaDream (as a Yacht Director on the luxury line) the song ‘I’m On A Boat‘ by The Lonely Island, was released. (Grandma, do not click that link!) What you also need to know about me is that I’m the type of girl that ‘acts first, worries later’. Meaning, I don’t really think of my actions before they occur. This often results in fun. Yet, usually gets me into trouble. While working on SeaDream, I was basically removed from the real world. Week to week I had one goal and one goal only…receive perfect scores on our Voyage surveys. Ok, ok, I wanted to do a good job and be helpful to the rest of our crew. And I genuinely did want the guests to like me. But let me get real with you quickly. I didn’t check Facebook, I didn’t watch TV and I barely emailed with friends and family. I was consumed with creating daily itineraries that catered to the elite traveller. And of course I was constantly responding to Patty’s complaints about the pesky locals not taking the US Dollar (she brought 500 $1 bills to France and she wants to use them). Or maybe I was busy solving Mr. Wienfeld’s issue of needing crab legs for the 4th day in a row (because he didn’t realize we had fresh crab the last 3 days and today we don’t. This is now my problem).  All that to say, I heard there was a ‘fun’ new song about being on a boat and didn’t realize the mass amounts of profanity throughout this Boat song. I was the naive world traveller….a ‘flipping tourist’ you might say. (NOTE: It isn’t actually until THIS VERY MOMENT that I am realizing this song was actually a SNL-skit thing. Cleary I’m still out of touch).

I just remember being incredibly ecstatic that an entire song had been written about my current life! Although, if I think about the language that gets thrown around at sea I suppose it shouldn’t have been shocking that the lyrics of a boat song were littered with f-bombs towards your mutha.

Before listening to even one chorus of ‘I’m on a Boat’, I just took it upon myself to download this ballad and blast these tunes through the entire yacht sound system. After about six lines of ‘Mother F*&@?$ boat’ I realized I had made a mistake. An ugly mistake. Our dear Captain wasn’t amused. I mean this is really bad if even lifetime seafarers are officially offended.

Music never really has been my thing.

So what is ‘my thing’? I’m not really sure, but it’s clear I’m always up for taking risks! To me it’s just a way of life. Whether it is risking my career on playing a song to the masses that I didn’t bother to preview yet or just taking a risk in designing and doing things differently. Why live life safe, when you can just LIVE?! (My personal motto is, “it will all just work itself out“. And this honestly bugs my spreadsheet-addict husband. He plans and organizes and over-prepares. For everything. You can imagine how upsetting it is to him to see me throw things at a wall and they actually stick. And look pretty decent too).

You may hear my life motto being mentioned a lot. Oh, also, Jesus has my back. Always.

But returning to the subject at hand. Boats. Growing up allllll I wanted was to have a boat. My parents had a canoe for a short bit. I don’t feel like that fully met my desire. Like not at all. They finally sold it (or donated it. Or sunk it. I need to ask them how one gets rid of an old rusty canoe).

As the years went on my parents would go on cruises and I didn’t get to go on a SINGLE ONE! Not a single one!!! The travesty! I let them know many times over how deprived I felt.

I should have saved myself the whining. If only my younger self knew that I would someday spend 2 years living and working on one of the best boats in the world – SeaDream. (I promise you LOTS more stories coming your way from my years on the water).

Then I found a man who wanted to marry me (sucker) AND he owned a boat. So it should be no surprise to you that our kids also love the water and have a boat obsession.

When it came time to move our oldest son from a crib to a bed we felt like we had one solid option to ensure this little guy would love stay put all night in his new sleeping arrangement:

A BOAT.

We had just moved into a new home (the 3rd home for our 2-year-old boy). His new room was so spacious. We couldn’t just do a bed that looked like a boat. We knew we wanted to take an actual boat and make it look like a bed.

Down we trekked to Eagle Mountain Lake and let the Harbor Master know that our young son loved to sail. This kind man found us an old sailboat that he was thrilled to give to a young sailor. And construction began.

A new paint job (royal blue for that authentic nautical look) and a platform to fit a twin-sized mattress. Heath and Johnny Madison spent a few weekends getting the boat prepped to set sail up our staircase. Meanwhile, I hunted for a PG version of ‘I’m on a boat’. Doesn’t exist.

Friday afternoon was boat move-in day. And it started raining as soon as the 5 man crew arrived to hoist the sails boat over the banister. I wanted to panic but remembered a boat is built for water. Still to this day, I couldn’t believe we made a 14-foot sailboat fit up our stairs and into our sons room.

That night we told our son ‘bon voyage’. He climbed in his new bed and slept all night. We think….Heath and I celebrated with several margaritas so it is possible that we just snoozed right through it.

Will you please tell me a song you have accidentally played to the wrong crowd?! Or share your favorite boat songs so I can add them to my playlist for next summer!