SeaDream Yard Sale

The summer travel season is winding down. And vacation memories (or possibly some nightmares), are all that remains. Of course some of us may have possible scarring from 3rd degree sunburns (not mentioning names) or something more pleasant like a new pair of slippers you snuck from your hotel room. We can debate later whether or not hotels intend for you to take them or not. I say “YES”, because ewwww….those slippers better not get reused! Have you seen the lack of hygiene of other tourists? Anyone who wants to argue differently, I will kindly ask you to think about some of the tourists you have seen wandering the streets of any city. Not everyone has the same hygiene standards as you. So, again. Ewwww. If those hotel slippers are meant to be reused, I don’t want any part of that hotel life.

Or maybe you brought home something more substantial from your hotel room? Willing to admit it? Here is a look back at an email I sent home to my friends and family during my time working as the Yacht Director on board SeaDream. Before we dive into the email unveiling the behind the scenes of yachting life, let me set the scene for you.

1. SeaDream is a luxury high-end yacht (think Four Seasons on water). Our typical clientele would leave behind better amenities and clothing than I have actually purchased in my lifetime.
2. When I sent this email, there had been a bit of an economic downturn and that lead a few of our clients to cancel their charter voyages meaning the yacht could sit empty for a few weeks. (These were either individuals who needed to reign in their frivolous 200K yachting adventures. Lame. Or the cancelations came from companies who didn’t want to be publicly blasted for letting go of employees all while executives dined on Caviar and Moet. Won’t name any names, but feel free to DM me.
3. Those vacant charter weeks needed to be filled quickly with guests and that lead to a few very, very, very inexpensive voyages that anyone from the masses could purchase. Although we shouldn’t pretend that what is described in the below email only occurs when discount voyages are offered. Trust me. Seriously, trust me…this could (and would) happen with guests of any financial bracket. I learned quickly that money didn’t buy class (but more typically sass or ass). Although, those living in more normal financial realms did tend to bring bigger bags to haul home free swag.
   

The scene has been set. Here is my email update from 2009:

Hello from the Sunny Carib!

So it’s back to work for me and while SeaDream keeps sailing full, this ‘economic crisis’ is making our guests a bit crazy.  Actually, I don’t know if crazy is the word – maybe just straight up THIEFS is more fitting!  When I arrived on board in San Juan, it was turn-over day to prepare for the new guests.  We also make note of all things missing.  I would like to just quickly inventory a few of the items guests decided were ‘included’ in the price of the voyage (or possibly part of a stimulus package?), because they just loaded up their suitcases with the following:

◦ Duvet, Duvet cover, top and bottom sheet and 4 pillow cases (I suppose they tried getting the mattress and box spring too, but their luggage didn’t allow enough room). NOTE: What kind of bad juju dreams do you think one has sleeping under contraband bedding?

◦ The Sunscreen/Self Tanner/Body Mists that we sell were removed from their luxury packaging very delicately. And then the empty boxes placed back on shelf.  (I hope they are stupid enough to hide it in their Carry-On, so some mean man at airport security gets to confiscate those stolen liquids) NOTE: We kept full size items in staterooms with purchase information so guests could easily decide they wanted our $100 Clarins Self-Tanner. Sadly for this stateroom guest we could see they tried to hide their theft, and in return we are happily charging the credit card we have on file. (insert spooky ‘buahhhhaaaahhaa’ laugh).

◦ Crystal jewelry boxes that are in the staterooms.  And they say SeaDream on them!!! How tacky/obvious is that going to be in someones house??! Or was this a gift for someone back home. (NOTE: I hope the recipient stumbles across this blog one day and realizes that their mother in law actually stole the item gifted to them so many years ago).

◦ All but TWO of the golf balls from our Golf Simulator – oh, thank you so much. Oh, wait. There was a reason they left those two balls – Because those two were both cracked.  The fun part is we actually know who took the golf balls! How? Because that particular couple asked for the Stewardess to help them with something in their room, but didn’t close their suitcase before she arrived (isn’t there a blog about stupid criminals? It’s not exactly criminal what they did, but sure fits the description). Unfortunately we didn’t approach them about this before departure because their stewardess was too nice to tell on them until after they left. The Filipino culture is incredibly kind! All the time!

This voyage we might as well just offer a ‘Yard Sale’ in our Daily Program – SeaDream might make some extra money this way and I could count it as an ‘Activity’ – everybody wins!

It’s actually great to be back…well other than the fact that I’m already sunburned, tired, and having a daily internal fight with myself to NOT walk past the pastry shop (it turns out that even when I tell myself I’ll just ‘walk by, have a sniff, and say Hello’, I somehow consume 2 brownies, banana bread, and soufflé – and that’s on a self-controlled day).

And honestly, if you would like to come on board for SeaDream’s next yard sale just let me know – they are giving me super cheap rates for my family and friends for the Caribbean, the crossing and the Mediterranean – and bring an extra piece of luggage, in case there is a TV or Bicycle on board that you may want to sneak home!

Surprised they didn’t take my keyboard too,

Meredith

I’m so thankful I saved all these emails! I hope you are too!

Oh! I also have an update regarding the Pastry shop struggle I mentioned. I gained my usual cruise weight and loved every minute of it. There are no better Pastry Chefs than those on board SeaDream. Thankfully their kitchen equipment is kept safe from our delinquent passengers in the bows of the ship!

What is the wildest thing you have come home with from your travels? Come on….admit it….there has to be something you’ve taken?!

Thanks for reading! Eat well and Travel often!                          Love, Meredith