Passport Pickle: Your Passport is a really big dill

Sorry not sorry for the puns. You gotta get playful with words when discussing boring governmental documents. There is nothing jolly about taking a 1 inch square photo resembling a mugshot and filling out paperwork ensuring (despite mugshot appearance) you are not a threat to society.

Passports are no laughing matter. The first thing a ticket agent will ask you for at airport arrival is your current documentation. And no amount of sweet-talking, candy bribing behavior will get you on a flight. Expired or forgotten passport? Kiss your camelback ride thru the dunes of the Sahara goodbye. The good news is that Gate Agent Vicki isn’t even going to let you check your bags, so at least you still have all your stuff. ‘Cause you ain’t going anywhere!

Disaster aside, you can still have a good time when handling issues that may arise due to this important document. Or lack there of, as the case may be.

Read todays post and file it away

Because Passport dilemmas happen everyday.

And yes, even to you Mr. ‘Type A’.

And oh boy, if you fall into that ‘detail-oriented, organized, Type A’ personality category, a passport mishap will majorly stress you out. I don’t fall into that category so let my “skill” of navigating solutions to self-inflicted disasters help you.

Before I left for for Iceland and Ireland last month, my sister Molly came over for dinner and to get settled in to stay with my kids for the weekend. She would be joining us in Ireland the following Thursday.

Or would she?

Molly mentioned that she sent her passport off to be renewed 8 weeks prior and still hadn’t received it back. Umm, this was concerning me. To me! The girl who wings EVERYTHING and never pays to rush packages because I just want to roll the dice. But I knew the average turn-around time for passports (currently) was about 3-4 weeks. Something was up. I brushed aside my initial curiosity that they were heavily investigating for something my sister was framed for. That only happens in movies, right?

The only other explanation was that her passport was stuck or lost or something. It really didn’t matter. All that did matter was that she had a flight leaving the country in 4 days and needed to come up with Plan B. She’s cute ya’ll, but cute don’t cut it at Border Patrol. Immigration Officers only want to see your mugshot in book form.

We first made several phone calls to the Passport Helpline. There are too many safety measures for anyone on the phone to really help you. They couldn’t investigate as it would be ‘invasion of privacy’ and could only tell us to call back 72 hours prior to departure. I wanted to solve this because my empathy levels always score high. Knowing she would be back home frantic for a passport, would impede my personal travel enjoyment. Or does that just make me selfish? Do not answer that!

How did we solve this debacle? We were lucky that we lived only 1 hour from a real life Passport office. I was able to make her an appointment online for 10:30 the next morning. This was perfect. She had to wake up at 6am. With my 2 toddlers. And drop Heath and I off at the airport.

She would then have just enough time to drive the hour (with my energetic children) to make her morning appointment. The Passport office only sees people with proof of travel within the next 2 weeks. While they can do same day passports, they often ask for you to come back again the following day. It would be a 3 hour investment of her time. This was made extra fun as she kept a 2 yr old and a 4 year old entertained. (I thought of her often while sipping prosecco at 40,000 feet en route to Iceland). Thankfully she had an early morning appointment because after a lot of back and forth, they finally agreed to produce a passport for her at 3pm. Perfect because that gave her time to circle Dallas while the kids (my kids) napped. Then it was back to the Passport Office.

The only thing more unfortunate than spending a day with little kids at a governmental office, is that they made her retake her photo. She was totally unprepared and is probably going to kill me for sharing these photos.

In case you find yourself without your little blue book and you are 2 weeks from travel then you need to STOP READING this! Find the nearest Passport Office HERE.

• Take your extra passport photo with you (if you don’t have one bring lipstick and a comb. You can pay to have one taken there).
• Plan to spend the day there, or block off the following morning to return for pick up. (This may turn into your Pre-vacation. Without the booze or sunshine).
• Bring proof of international travel (your flight is preferred vs. just a hotel reservation).
• You must make an appointment (This can be done HERE)
• And bring money as the expedited fees will be added in. (Oh look, spending extra cash…it really is like a mini-vacation).
• Oh…and leave your weapons at home. Although, it seems they do allow children so that rule seems fuzzy to me.

Other tips to help you avoid last minute Passport frantics:

• Your passport needs to be valid for at least 6 months beyond your travel dates. If you don’t travel often, check your passport when booking flights to be sure you don’t need to update anything. If you travel often, you probably have your passport memorized in the same brain bank as your home phone number. And you might run out of pages before you even need to renew. (NOTE: You can no longer add pages to a Passport)!
• As I type this I could almost promise you that you’d get your USA Passport back within 3-4 weeks. But plan for 6-8 weeks to be safe. And feel free to borrow my children should you need to make a run to the passport office. They are now experienced.
• Keep your packing list short! Sometimes we get so bogged down by jewelry and clothing options that we forget the most obvious. No matter where I’m going, I recite the mantra: “Passport and Credit Card. Passport and Credit Card”. As long as I have both of these things, I can take care of anything lost/forgotten/stolen.
• Keep a photo of your passport on your phone. This won’t really help you fly if you don’t have it in hand (I’ve been with friends who have tried). But it will make replacing it easier and quicker when abroad. This would involve help at an Embassy. More on that another day.
• Passport Offices can also be used for Life or Death emergencies. You must provide all the usual application documentation in addition to proof of the life or death emergency. Proof of an emergency includes a death certificate (translated), a statement from a mortuary, or a signed letter from a hospital or medical professional.

Want more passport stories?

Listen in as my friend Koula shares how she solved her visa situation abroad HERE and HERE.

And you have to hear how my friend Brice solved his forgotten passport story while in Puerto Rico. It’s GENIOUS and you can listen HERE.

Tell me in the comments – what problems or solutions have you encountered! I’d love to share more!