SITTER SANITY – the splurge you don’t want to screw up!

Important Tip: When to splurge on a babysitter for your family vacation.

In case you’re already loading the car with 2 ankle-biters that won’t let you enjoy today’s blog, let me be blunt with the answer: Night two and Night four. For the rest of you, let me explain!

Please note that I didn’t say ‘if’ or ‘possibly’. Or for heaven’s sake, “we will think about it”. Trust me. Stop thinking and JUST! HIRE! THE! BABYSITTER! Unless you are raising perfect children a la ‘Leave It To Beaver’ (in which case this whole blog is probably obscene to you), you are going to need a break from the little ones. They depend solely on you for their survival and if you are literally keeping other humans alive, how are YOU getting a break on this so-called ‘vacation’?!

You think raising kids at home is challenging? Take them on a trip, deprive them of sleep, add in extra sugar and then use that overly cheery voice to bribe smiles out of them for photos all day long. Trust me. Someone is going to lose it and you don’t want it to be you! (Otherwise your cute little San Francisco family vacation will become known as ‘that week mom threw all our cookies out of the car and stomped on them’ or some equally frightful memory they will share about you for the remainder of their life).

While a babysitter won’t prevent all meltdowns completely, it will absolutely give everyone a break from the routine and something new to look forward to. And ya ya, I know. Mommy and Daddy look forward to the break more than the kids. But let’s remember who is paying for this trip. Check all your guilt at the hotel lobby! (Easier to do with cocktail in hand).

I have gone off track…but hope you are still sold on my idea…you MUST splurge on a babysitter during your family vacation trip. And to maximize the babysitting benefits there is one rule to follow: The nights you use this luxury. (My rule applies to any adventure that is 4 days or longer).

Book your sitter for Night two and Night four. Here is why:

Night one: Everyone is excited for the time away together. You are delirious from a day of travel and your personal excitement has you confused on how much work this trip is really going to be. Hang with your family and suck every bit of fun out of tonight because reality will set in tomorrow. (Oh ya, you’re also probably super tired from the travel day. Don’t try to be a hero by partying late tonight).

Night two: Get the sitter! DO NOT get caught up in the vacation high and think you can wait. Utilize the sitter while YOU are still fresh and while YOU can fully have fun with your spouse and/or friends. Do you need to get away already on Night 2? No! But that IS! THE! POINT! It will feel like a total luxurious splurgy vacation to go out. You can have drinks, laugh a ton and engage in lively conversation before your kids have sucked the life out of you. (Don’t nay-say me! They will suck the life out of you).

Night three: You just had a sitter last night. Let’s not be greedy. You aren’t your children’s surrogate. You are their actual parent so spend an evening with them. Geez. (plus, you might be hungover/rundown from the prior night of fun. Just saying…).

Night four: You’ve now traveled with the kids and have spent several days of constant contact with them (minus that super fun night where you went out!). If you are true human (not those supermoms only seen on Instagram), your energy is probably waning. Take advantage of another night of fun before stage/night 5 exhaustion sets in. I hate to slap you with a fat dose of reality, but tonight is probably the last night you’ll still feel energetic on this special family getaway. Take advantage once again and let the sitter watch your kiddos while you reward yourself with the surrounding of other adults. Cocktails! Sunsets! Ooey-Gooey desserts! You know, the things that travel brochures hook you with. Have you looked closely at a proper travel brochure? There aren’t real children actually enjoying those moments. My family vacation photos have one screaming kid, while another one is covered in spaghetti sauce coloring on the wall. But not night four. Parents own night four! It’s the night when you load up your phone with vacation photos that make everyone jealous of your relaxing getaway.

Night five: If you didn’t heed my advice and get a sitter on the previous nights mentioned above (eye roll), then go ahead and go for it….but you’re going to be tired. I promise. At this point you’ve gone 5 straight days of playing the role of ‘Super-fun, active mom and rockstar wife who doesn’t really require sleep’. And this role play comes after you spent 2 full days packing and prepping the entire family for this ‘vacation’. Night five is when us mortals feel reality setting in. If you get a babysitter you’ll spend half your evening going back and forth from being excited for the night away…to just wishing you could be the one at home in bed…to being grateful you had the chance to get away…to just deciding to call it a night and get to bed early. Night five can be neurotic. Paying for outside help at this point can only increase those feelings of neurosis. #saveyourdollars

Nights 6-10: Fancy dinner reservations at this point will just not be as enjoyable. You’ve been immensely indulgent on vacation food for nearly a week now. You’re exhausted by all the extreme entertaining of tiny humans you’ve been doing. While a fancy night out is better than nothing…I promise you it won’t be near as enjoyable as doing this same type of date night while you were still fresh in the week! When my husband and I get all ‘fancy pants’ and hire another sitter towards the end of a vacation we have a SOLID method to making it work. Sitter comes late afternoon. We just grab happy hour, a sunset and then dessert. Just because we can’t stomach another full dinner doesn’t mean my belly can’t find room for cocktails and sweets. And don’t think we are sticking it out late night. We instruct the sitter to put those kids to bed at 7:30pm and we roll in at 7:32pm. Robes on by 7:34. Snoring by 7:35.

Some of you are all-star moms and love soaking up every moment with your kids. I love to soak up many minutes with my kids too. But my kids need a break from me. Or maybe they know I need the break, so they never mind when a lively, different version of ‘mom’ shows up to love on them for a few hours.

It can absolutely be a bit odd to try out a new sitter away from home, but we live in the 21st century. Recommendations can be found easily via your virtual network online. Major destinations also offer babysitting services (read: they are more verified and background checked than the Sorority girl you use at home just based solely on the idea that she pledged the same letters as you.). And if you are staying in a hotel they usually have their own sitters that they can recommend (and typically work for the hotel, therefore are vetted heavily!).

Full Disclosure: I screwed up on my babysitting tips during a recent trip to Cabo San Lucas. We didn’t book all of our sitters right away (as I recommend) and by the time I remembered to call back to the front desk, the only additional time they had available was the dreaded night 5. So we took what we could get but by night 5 we were so exhausted from playing the role of ‘wildly fun mom/dad’ in the hot Mexican sunshine for hours. By the time we made it to our private dinner reservation we could barely hold an interesting conversation. We literally talked about the pretty sunset, the deliciously crafted cocktail and then decided we really didn’t need dessert. I mean I had more stimulating conversation as I negotiated with spanish-speaking trinket sellers on the beach than I did with my own husband that night.  And the only thing I was negotiating at dinner with him was getting the waiter to bring the check mid-appetizer. We were so tired! Let my mistakes help make your next trip a success.

It is truly my {current} life mission to help everyone enjoy travel. Children are our greatest gift and they deserve to see the world. So many parents tell me, ‘”It’s just too hard to travel with the kids”. Hired help is a great way for you to find some sanity on your next trip!

Still nervous about getting a babysitter? Here are my final tips:

1. In a hotel ask the concierge (call ahead of time or ask as soon as you check-in for the best options). Some resorts even have kids clubs! We loved this one at our hotel in Dingle, Ireland
2. If you are renting a home ask the property manager about babysitting services or use Facebook for what it is actually meant for – getting connected with someone! (Note: If your children are wild heathens and you are trying to keep your AirB&B rating at 5 stars, I wouldn’t use the homeowners niece for this service).
3. Some cities (Fort Worth, NYC, North Carolina for example) have drop-in play care services! It’s an ingenious method that is growing and I will continue to hunt more of these options down in cities we are scheduled to travel to and keep you updated. This is a brilliant and safe way to give yourself a break!

What is your favorite family vacation spot?